Well, it should be a good start for October cuz it's my birthday month! After 365days. Well, guess not. I didn't had a really great start for October, hope some of my friends understand. Yes, I got my piano exam results. But it wasn't good, it sucks, actually. I've been waiting for months and I got this shitty results, really, really disappointed on myself, and felt very sorry to my mother, father, teacher, myself. It was hard, hard to tell my mum cuz yes, I'm afraid she would be disappointed. Although she doesn't shows it, I know she feel sad, or she's disappointed on me. Why I can't make it this time again? I felt like a failure. I tried my best playing the piano, been practicing really really hard, actually I've failed for the second time this time. This is why I felt like a failure, maybe God doesn't want me to continue playing the piano? Been wasting a lot of time, money on this. WHY? I've been asking myself a zillion times, is it this hard to pass this grade? Cuz if I can't make it, I can't proceed to a higher level. Maybe I've given myself a lot of pressure cuz I've failed for the first time, maybe I'm scared I can't make it again. And I really failed it. People might not understand my feeling, but yea I'm really depressed and having a really bad time because of it.
Well, I still need to learn from my mistakes, what makes me fail this exam? I need to make sure of it and aim for a higher result. Not pass, I need to make it Merit, Distinction. I have and need to change all my bad habits and play better, I promise. I will make it next time. To myself. To my parents, and teacher.
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